We’ve all seen the pictures of miserable dads accompanying their daughters to pop concerts. And if you haven’t, I don’t know what you’re doing here reading this instead of googling those pictures.
Arguably it’s a rite of passage for both father and daughter (before any accusations of sexism are thrown out, I’m sorry to say that the internet is not interested in mothers and sons at pop concerts). At the very least, it’s an opportunity to be included in a listicle. You just have to grin and bear it.
The reality is, your child wants to go to a pop show but you don’t feel like they’re old enough to go alone. You haven't listened to any new music since 1997, so you have no interest in all this noise, but you also want your child to have a fun life and not hate you too much. Basically, you feel like you should make the effort.
The minimum effort is going to the show and tolerating it. Tolerating it as much as possible anyway. Your child will get to go, and so long as they ignore the miserable old person next to them, they’ll probably have a good time.
That’s the thing though. They will have to ignore you, because you’re going to be there giving off an energy. Not a fun energy. You know the sort of energy I mean. And it won’t just be your child who notices. Other people will notice. Other people are going to have their enjoyment dulled slightly by that energy you give off when you’re not enjoying something.
Also, you and everyone around you is going to be thinking that those tickets were quite hard to get hold of and the seat you’re in could have been taken up by someone even slightly more engaged than you.
Here’s the big news though: It doesn’t have to be like this.
To a certain extent, you are choosing not to enjoy that show. You could enjoy it. Big pop shows are designed to be entertaining. I’ve heard teams of people involved put in quite a lot of effort. So when someone is up there in front of you doing an entertaining thing that probably requires a certain level of skill and stamina, it’s actually quite rude of you to sit there with a stony look on your face.
So, step one is deciding that you’re going to actually try to work out what this whole thing is about and see if there’s something about it you might like a little.
Pop music these days isn’t just about the music though, is it? There are all sorts of things you need to know. Pop fandoms have their own cultures, their own languages. Songs are secret codes to the pop star’s private life, there to be deciphered. So coming to this at the point where the star of the show is playing months long arena tours, you might think it’s a bit of a closed door to you.
Here’s another bit of news: It’s not.
I mean, most pop fandoms can be cracked by half listening to one episode of a podcast. It’s not that difficult. But maybe you want to get really deep into it. That too is possible. But before you start listening to that second podcast, let’s just check if the pop show you’re heading to is one headlined by Taylor Swift in Glasgow this June. Because if it is, then boy have we got something for you.
Glasgow Clyde College has announced a free Taylor Swift masterclass next week. In 90 minutes, it is “aimed at preparing parents and plus ones of Taylor superfans, providing the full ‘Love Story’ on all things ‘Eras Tour’ to help them have the best night of their lives”.
You hear that? The best night of your life!
“From setlists and crowd chants to need-to-know information on each Era, the masterclass, which is being delivered by a Taylor Swift expert, will give people a whistle-stop lesson that’ll leave them ready for the gig”, the blurb continues.
They don’t say who the Taylor Swift expert is. Maybe it’s your daughter. Whatever, this sounds like exactly the sort of thing that should be offered before all big pop shows. Let’s just acknowledge that a good third of any pop audience absolutely did not want to be there. Then let’s indoctrinate as many of them as possible into that fan culture. It makes so much sense. I feel like this could boost music industry revenues to never before scene levels.
Let this be the end of the miserable dad at a pop concert. All hail the new meme - embarrassing dad at a pop concert.
Now, before you go, check out some other fun music news stories we happened upon this week…
Associated Press
Anagricel Duran
Jon Blistein
Jon Blistein
Alex Rigotti
Tom Skinner